Rudeness (also called impudence or effrontery) is the disrespect and failure to behave within the context of a society or a group of people's social laws or etiquette. These laws have already unspokenly been established as the essential boundaries of normally accepted behaviour. To be unable or unwilling to align one's behaviour with these laws known to the general population of what is socially acceptable is to be rude.

Similar terms include: impoliteness, making a faux pas, inconsiderateness, offensiveness, obscenity, profanity, violating taboos, and deviancy. In some cases, criminal behavior can also be an act of rudeness.

1 ) I hate it when the same person  keep appearing in my dreams especially people whom i know im uncomfortable with. In real life .

2 ) i hate constantly being in a place / people which / who make me feel uneasy , not calm , tense , nervous while waiting anxiously 

for something bad to happen .

3 ) i swear not to do things to others , cause them to be in emotional turbulence , only to meant it as a tool to test their strength or

intelligence or whatever that may occur to me at that point of time . unless of course , unintentionally .

4 ) some people manage to learn from their mistakes , resolve to be a better individual but some others simply find it hard to forget others

mistakes , bearing in mind that , they indeed , have changed .have proved themselves . those who manage to dismiss ill thoughts and let

go of the excess baggage are ought to be respected .

5 ) some people find it more bearable to educate others children only to have little patience and tolerance in educating and handling their

own.

6 ) Time is one of God's most powerful creation and gift to mankind . He works in many magical ways . Thru time and patience , He

produces miracle . To those who observe and appreciate .

7 ) Sometimes we are not even aware that we are comfortable being with a particular someone until we have unintentionally hurt them

with our words or actions or gestures or expressions . which  are all actually  result of our high level of comfort around them .

8 ) I notice that we tend to bear ill thoughts more often to our close and dear ones . reason being i believe , triggered by emotions .

the love and care that we have for them . but it is often towards these people that these ill thoughts are also quickly dismissed . 

and also triggered by the same emotions .

9 ) the anxiety that we feel towards our loved ones should be channeled to genuine worry and concern . not anger .

10 ) Anger , hatred , dissapointment are not the opposites of love . Neutral is . 

11 ) Our reactions are normally our perceptions of what others think or feel .

12 ) Third party exists . Only because 2nd party does .

U see everyone is entitled to their own opinions , ideas , theories and logic . And anyone is entitled to oppose , agree or neither .

It takes a little more effort to keep ourselves , others , everyone happy . It takes an effort , to live in harmony .

one after the other

taking things one step at a time

and when the sun finally goes down on me

i will gladly drop and say goodbye



Life

give me a break

i am exhausted

i need it

feeling like an old lady
with frail bones and joints

my whole body is aching

left the office yesterday feeling spent
all physically , mentally ,emotionally .
taking the bus only to realise that
migraine was on its way

shower and prayer felt like energy consuming
excuse me
my back was in pain , left side .
and its a miracle what that one tiny purple tablet
did to me

i was in another world a few moments later
unaware of the simultaneous vibrating of my phone
unaware of the unexpected guests who came last night
unaware of that tiny little boy trying to crawl up my bed
or so thats what my mom said

waking up this morning
with pain on my neck
on my back , this time left side
pain on my both legs
the bruises on my legs , i noticed have become more apparent 
and there are three of it mind u
my head is way better than last night tho

i need a break

im in pain 
im exhausted

i feel like chopping off my two legs
the pain is killing me

1 tell her to shut the fuck up . do as what was told .
2 when feeling unwell , remind herself to have a good rest at home ,
    to recover quickly . keep her emotions at bay . try to .
3 dont disregard others emotions and thoughts . dont say nonsense as a remark .
4 be objective.be objective .be objective . esp when emotionally disturbed .
5 be a chameleon .
6 do not underestimate little gestures
7 do not be complacent of previous deeds
8 cry . if u must . ignore the rest .
9 eat well , sleep well , get yourself recharged
10 if u are over it , show it .
11 dont speak when hatred and anger fills your heart
12 outer , inner strength , vary . learn to adapt
13 stop reproaching yourself . love yourself .
14 . sometimes , ignorance is bliss .
15 do not say i understand . u only think u do .
16 step out of your comfort zone
17 go home . have a good sleep . thats what u need .

6 June 09

My baby is resting at home
he was given 2 weeks hospital leave
his condition is getting better
physically yes
but morally , not quite
being cooped up at home 
practically like an invalid
may have caused him slight depression
or so thats what he said

it bothers me

i mean i cant be there with him
physically at all times

truth is
i am feeling the pressure too

the pressure of hearing my baby's voice like that
the pressure of me not knowing what to do to cheer him up
the pressure knowing that i have not done enough to get him out of that state

i want so bad to make him happy
and i know i have tried

God
please give him speed recovery
physically
mentally
emotionally

it pains me to see my baby like this

90 days left

something bad and unexpected happened today at work
and sunshine is not by my side
there is nothing more i wish than to be squashed in his arms
hugging me , comforting and assuring me that  i will be safe
tho i may not be that safe  after all
sigh

this is only the beginning
and it already feel so suffocating

a part of my life without
My Sunshine

91 days left and i am still so very much in love with my sunshine
and we are still very much happy and feel blessed
enjoying each other 's company
treasuring every moment  supporting one another along this crucial moment 
despite the unpleasant circumstances that surround us 
we manage to keep ourselves happy with every little tiny
things that we share

surrounding can be intimidating and disheartening at times , most times
but realising that we dont have all the time in the world to be together
we work our way thru to make each other happy 

a few more days to his surgery
tho its a minor one, that does not stop from having this one huge
stone sitting in my stomach and tugging my heart along
we pray hard that it will be a smooth one
and that he will recover completely
and to end his misery
for we both love and need each other so much
we pray to God to let us live long enough
for us to attain blissful life together in the future

every little things
every tiny seconds means and matters a lot to us
for each of it is used to express and convey our deep affection  for one another
ignoring the world around us
for we live and strive for each other

my teeth and braces are getting worse
need to visit the dentist real soon
sunshine mentioned it a few times
one thing that makes me sad is the fact that
he wont get to see me without my braces before he depart

i dread the thought of seeing his face at the airport
but being the strong woman that i have always been
i would have to fight till the end

i adore u sunshine
i cant bear the thought of  living a life without u
but we have to move on
and fight our way thru
till the end of the battle
because i love u so
and i know u feel the same way too

i am still living a life of imperfections
lack of excellence
and that is when i know 
that your love for me is true

thank u sunshine
thank u God

i love u both

its gone
the little rays of joy
the ugly beast and its two brainless guard dogs
stole it away

all that is left
is whatever remaining rays of sunshine
from the sunshine itself

but even that ....

and today
she decides to numb herself
again

i just hate to see him leave today

today .. at the end of the day ..

it is him that i want to run home to

to be safe in his arms tonight

especially .. after today ...


how can i survive 
with just another 97 days left ?